We started with the premise that women are after conversation as addictively as men are after sex (if you will allow for somewhat scientifically-backed stereotypes). In the last post, the husband learns to let his wife guide him through her conversational landscape. In this post, it has begun to occur to the wife that her man has another goal in mind than conversation. For women, as for men, landscapes of sex and conversation are different landscapes completely. Both sexes tend to be disappointed when they realize that their partner would rather be in a different landscape.
As her husband did, the wife must do some conscious ritualing of her own, and put a little faith in her spouse’s qualia. She must separate herself from the landscape of conversation and pay attention to the landmarks and pathways of her mate’s sexual landscape. Indeed, like the diligent husband, to do this she must ignore the pull of her own, Big Dopamine, conversational landmarks and pathways. But if she can consciously use the ritual framework, she will discover Little Dopamine pleasures in the sexual landscape – not to mention her own, sexual, confidence.
Many a man has been ensnared by a woman who knows how to appreciate the sexual landscape, who has shown him a few landmarks and pathways he didn’t know were there. However, just as the male “wolf” exploits his skill at conversation to take advantage of women, a woman may exploit her sexual prowess to gain a husband (or satisfy a husband who is already been got), but just as exploited women soon wise up, so a man’s delight might become tainted, wondering just where his wife gained all this ability.
Again, a woman only achieves this power with repeated ritualing; her neurolandscape does not fill up with erotic power over night. A good wife, like a good husband, acquires a growing set of mental tchotchkes — qualia — to inspire the intersection of marital landscapes in the future.